


baby we're one in a million (don't be afraid) ~hiatus~

by snowglobegays



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha!Niall, Alpha!liam, Angst, Big twist, Crazy, Crazy Louis, Death, F/F, F/M, Hurt Louis, In a way, M/M, Mentions of Eating Disorder, Mentions of Suicide Attempts, Murder, Omega!Zayn, On Hiatus, Past Neglect, Sad, Sad Harry, Sad Louis, Scared Harry, Suicide Attempt, Tears, WIP, alpha!Harry, and her and Louis fall in love and stuff, basically Harry's an alpha and a girl and it's happened maybe once before, dick gemma, discrimination against alphas a bit, emeotionally scarred louis, everyone cries, girl!Harry, girl!Louis, harry flips out, i didn't wanna make it cliche so, i think idk I just tag something as a trigger warning when it could at least maybe be, insane, liam is male, like emotionally hurt, louis parents are dicks, louis shakes a lot, mentions of possible relapse, mentions of self harm, niall is male, nice zayn, omega!Louis, secret ziam, shes just worried tho, so many tears, some sexism, something happened to Zayn oh no, the angst is starting, the eleanor and stan is pretty minor like it's just a background couple theyre buds with the girls, the horror, the little mix girls are mentioned, they all get drunk and high in chapter 7, trigger - Freeform, um, zayn is male, zayn is so sweet to lou, zayn loves her man, ziam and angst are making appearances
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-01-21 20:55:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1563755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowglobegays/pseuds/snowglobegays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Always a girl Harry is a one of a kind alpha and always a girl Louis is an omega. </p><p>Feat. Side ziam and dominant Niall</p><p>~~~on hiatus for now because i signed up for two fic exchanges!! silly me!! so i cant update for a while but once im done ill be back with weeky updates!!!!~~~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I am very lesbian and I imagined female Louis whimpering and crying and squirming and fingering herself and then female Harry climbing on top of her and just totally ravishing her before getting a strap on and fucking her and I will get to that later on.

All the nervous little girls stood in a line, anxious for their turn. It was testing day, where you found out whether you were an alpha, beta, or omega. All the girls wanted to be omegas, soft little people who are naturally submissive.

Harriet Styles, called Harry, wanted nothing more than to be a beta. There was no way in hell that she was an omega, and at 12, she was positive that she wasn't super soft and submissive.

"Harriet Styles?" A nurse in pink, obviously an omega, called.

Harry stepped forward, shaking. "That's me."

The nurse smiled. "Follow me for the tests."

Harry knew that since her motet was tested, times have changed. People used to wait until later years to learn, waiting for a heat or rut. Now, 13 year olds get shots to induce either a heat for omegas, a rut for alphas, or just slight arousal for betas.

Harry sat on the chair set up. A tall man with a kind smile walked up. He held out a long needle attached to a syringe with clear liquid in it. "This will hurt just a bit."

After injecting her and bandaging up the small hole, they waited for the symptoms to start.

Harry was disappointed when a strong wave of arousal crashed through her. She only wanted to be a beta.

The doctors observing her looked worried and confused at her reaction. Girls either started crying with want for a knot or have no reaction, but Harry looked pained and angry, sticking her hand down her pants.

A nurse checked her temperature for the slight fever heats brought, but nothing.

The omega nurse that brought Harry in gasped. "I feel it! She's... She's an alpha!"

Harry didn't remember much after that, just her mum picking her up and exchanging quick, quiet concerns with the doctors.

_**~** _

Louise Tomlinson, called Louis, but liked being called Lou, was put in Harry's room for testing. As she stepped in, her head swirled with the inviting scent of an alpha, and she knew that she was an omega.

The nurse still injected her, and Lou grew hot, sweaty, and aroused and knew for sure. An omega.

_**-7 years later-** _

"Look at the big alpha! So scary! Oh wait! It's a girl! What a loser!" Nick Grimshaw and his group sneered at Harry as she passed, heading to her next class.

Harry breathed heavily and glared their way. She tried to stop herself lashing out, but she couldn't contain her anger.

"Didn't know you were still sour about me rejecting you in fifth grade. I beat you up easy then, I can beat you up easy now, beta!" She mocked.

Nick growled and stormed off, his friends laughing.

Harry shook her head and was almost at her class when she felt it.

"You have got to be kidding me." She whispered.

Her rut was supposed to start in a week!

Harry groaned and ran home, ready to deal with another rut.

**_~_ **

"Lou, should you be going today? You just finished your heat, you probably still smell like it, and what if something sends you back in?" Zayn hugged Lou, his head on hers, rocking back and forth.

"Zee, I'm 20. I'm not a helpless child, just an omega. You are too! I'll be fine. If it feels like my heat is coming back, I'll head straight home. If any alphas smell me, I'll come right back here. I'll be fine!" She assured her best friend.

Lou was going back to school after winter break, and her heat had been the last week. Zayn, her best friend, a male omega, was worried about sending her to school. They lived together, Zayn's mum unhappy about her son being an omega, Lou's mum unhappy about her omega daughter being into girls, meaning no grandchildren.

Lou kissed Zayn's cheek and walked out. At school, she faintly heard Nick Grimshaw teasing someone, the person retorting something that sent Nick, a beta, stalking off and knocking into Lou.

Nearing her first class, Lou smelled something sexy and sweet, feeling her stomach tighten in arousal. She sighed and turned on her heel, stomping home.

Zayn met her at the door, a knowing smile on his face when she came in, sweaty and whimpering. He helped her out of her clothes and handed her something before leaving.

Lou looked in her hand and nearly cried when she saw the dildo that popped a knot after a button was pushed. Lou loved Zayn.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou and Harry meet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't my best (or longest) work I'm so sorry I just wanted to get a bit farther in the story because I'm going to Chicago and its a 12 hour drive and I'm gonna write a lot because this is fun

-  
"Fuck," Harry whispered as she fell into her bed, naked and sweating. 

Reaching to her bedside table, she grabbed her vibrator. Pressing it to her clit, pleasure crashed through her veins and she groaned. 

Ruts were difficult to deal with. Things inside never felt good to Harry, so she had apply pressure to her clit and nipples, desperately wanting to be over a whining omega, grinding into the sheets. 

Pinching her nipples, Harry came all over her bed, wet juices pulsing out of her. 

Harry knew that this was her only chance to sleep before the need for an omega came, so she pulled her covers to her chin and closed her eyes, falling into a pitiful slumber.   
-  
Harry woke up to her roommate, Liam, stroking her hair. "Hey Haz. You okay?" 

Harry blinked her eyes, the intense arousal in her clit reminding her of her predicament. 

She moaned, reaching down for the panties she had thrown on before napping. 

Liam's eyes widened, realizing what was going on. "Oh, um, your rut is early Hazza, wasn't it supposed to be next week?" 

Harry frowned as she ran her fingers up and down through her folds, squeezing her clit. "I know." She groaned. 

Liam sighed. "I wanted it to be a surprise but I ordered a new toy for you. It was specially designed for female alphas and it's supposed to get here next week. I'm sorry Hazza.." 

Harry nearly cried because Liam is the best friend she could've asked for. "Just leave me alone, Payne." 

-

After three agonizing days, Harry's rut ended. That day, the toy Liam ordered had arrived. 

"Harry!" Liam called excitedly. 

Harry groaned and trudged into the living room. "What, Liam?" 

Liam stood up, smiling and hiding something behind his back.

Harry looked at his hands suspiciously. "What's that?" 

Liam held it out and grinned brightly. "The toy! Since more females are becoming alphas, toys have been made to help them! It's a strap on that stimulates the clit as you wank it, like a guy! When you come, a know pops so it can be for couples too!" He rattled excitedly. 

Harry snatched the dildo from Liam's outstretched hands, looking over it closely before grinning and jumping into Liam's arms. "Thank you! Oh my god this is so cool!" 

Liam's lopsided grin grew. "I would say to go try it out but you've just had your rut and I don't fancy hearing your moans an I don't think you'd fancy another orgasm." 

Harry hugged Liam before placing the toy in her bedside table. 

-

Lou's mini heat was unbearable. She needed someone. An alpha to pound into her, a girl to play with her body. But she couldn't have any of that. Zayn had offered to fuck her if it'd help, but the two had laughed the ridiculous thought away. 

The second round lasted two miserable days as Louis whimpered and moaned softly. 

Returning to school, Lou bumped into a tall girl with curly hair and dropped everything. 

"Shit, sorry sorry sorry, let me help!" The girl gasped. 

Lou watched as the girl picked up her papers before snapping out if her daze and helping her. The girl kept glancing at Louis, a small, slightly fond, smirk decorating her face. "You know, it's not smart to come to school right after your heat. You still smell like it. Who knows what'll happen with the stupid alphas who claim they can't hold themselves back?" 

Lou's head snapped up. "How can you tell? Do I smell so much a beta or omega like you could smell?" 

The girl shook her head. "I'm neither. I'm an alpha believe it or not. I'm Harry Styles. You?" The girl - Harry - stuck out her hand. 

Lou shook the huge but feminine hand and smiled brightly. "I've heard of female alphas! I think they're great. It's very helpful to gay omegas. And I'm Lou Tomlinson. My real name is Louise but never call me that." 

Harry smiled, standing up and pulling Lou up with her, handing the omega her papers. "Would you mind giving me you number? I quite like you, though this conversation has been positively dull. We'd find much better topics at dinner sometime." Harry asked cheekily. 

Louis giggled. "Gimme your phone so you can take me to dinner. Or lunch. Or breakfast. Or multiple meals. Give. " 

Harry grinned, pulling out her phone. Lou tapped in her number and name before handing it back to Harry to pocket. "See you for dinner Lou Tomlinson. Tonight at 7. Dress fancy!" Harry called as she sauntered off. 

"Hey!" Lou protested weakly. "I couldn't been busy tonight!" 

She heard Harry laugh from down the hall. "But you aren't. See you then, Tomlinson!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are the best


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I took so long everyone has been so nice and all the chapters are short but I wanted to write something chaptered instead of having all one shots (this is a shitty chapter)

Liam went home to a pacing Harry, her long fingers running frantically through her long hair. He sighed. "What's wrong?" 

Harry looked up at Liam, her eyes wide and nervous. "I've fucked up. Horribly." 

"What'd you do this time?" 

Harry inhaled shakily. "So I bumped into this girl today, she's this gorgeous omega and I made her spill her stuff and she smelled so good and I could tell she was just off her heat and we talked a bit and I flirted kinda and fuck, she's perfect and I met her today!" 

Liam tilted his head, resembling a confused puppy. "Why is this bad?"

Harry plopped down on the couch with a huff. "I told her to be ready at 7 tonight for a fancy dinner date and it's 5:30 and I don't know where we're going!" 

Liam sighed. "Oh Harry. You could take her to a fancy picnic or to a nice restaurant or you could clean up the place and bring her here or- ooh! You should rent the top of the Peabody Hotel and set up a table with really nice food! Who is she anyway?" 

Harry's eyes lit up at the idea. "The rooftop sounds great! I've got the money, I could get Gemma to make that cake she made for mum's wedding! Thanks Liam!" She stood up to organize the evening, but Liam stopped her. 

"Who is she though?" He asked. 

Harry grinned. "Lou Tomlinson." 

-

"She said to dress fancy? Why not wear that purple ombré one? You look great in it!" Zayn suggested. 

Lou groaned pitifully. "I can't wear that! It's not a 'first date' dress, it's a 'we've been dating for ages and haven't banged in a while and I'm really horny please fuck me' dress!"

Zayn shuddered at the mental image he got, digging through Lou's closet. "You could wear this one?" He suggested, pulling a dress out from the very back. 

Louis turned around, prepared to snap, but stopped. The dress was stunning. It was cream with tiny specks of blue embedded in. There was a sweetheart neckline with sheer illusion straps. 

"Fuck." Lou whispered. "I forgot I had that. Fuck, that's gorgeous." 

Lou changed quickly and let Zayn do her makeup. (Her hands were shaking too much.) 

When he finished, she studied herself. He had dusted her cheeks lightly with blush, contoured her face perfectly, and loaded on eyeliner and mascara that made her eyes 10x bluer. She clasped an aqua necklace around her neck and slipped a ring on her right ring finger. 

Zayn brought over a pair of light blue heels, making Louis about two inches taller. 

Lou popped on some sparkly lipgloss, patting on eyeshadow of the same color to make her lips matte, and walked elegantly down the steps. 

-

Harry pulled up at 7 exactly, having texted Lou for her address. She was in a quarter sleeve tight dark purple dress. 

A rapping on the window caught Harry's attention and she hopped out to greet Lou, stopping short once she caught sight of the omega. 

She took in the dress, heels, lips, ring, necklace, eyes, and perfectly curled hair before she breathed again. "Wow." She sighed. "You're gorgeous" 

Lou giggled and blushed. "You look great too, Harry." 

The alpha led Lou to the passenger seat and closed the door after her. She climbed in her side and started the car, grinning at Lou. "Ready for the hopefully best date of your life?" Harry asked. 

Lou nodded and smiled. "Being with you makes it the best."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised to update at the beginning of may and here we are two months into June and I'm giving you guys this wimpy thing I'm so sorry also I didn't edit


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The almost beginning of the date but really just getting there and a lot if dialog and running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit you guys I'm so so so sorry but I'm getting on it and if any of you check bll I sent in an ask for if anyone wanted to give me ideas because I suck so please and thank you you all rock

Harry kept her eyes on Lou as she drove to the hotel. Lou was blushing slightly, her cheeks and neck tinted pink, sometimes glancing at Harry. 

"You should probably watch the road instead of me; I'd rather not die before going on this date," Lou quipped, poking Harry's cheek. 

"You're hot. Gorgeous. The road is bland a gray, how do I look at the world around me when the prettiest omega- prettiest girl- is next to me? It's impossible." 

Lou giggled, covering her mouth with her dainty hands. "I hardly think I'm the prettiest girl. Maybe I'm the prettiest omega, if you insist, but there's a hot alpha I know if who knocks me down to second." 

Harry laughed loudly, her dimples deep and her eyes twinkling. "You better be talking about me, or we're gonna have a problem. I'll have to beat her up." 

Lou quieted down, frowning. "Do you really beat people up? I mean, it's hit when girls are strong, but I don't... I don't want to be with someone violent, you know? My dad was a dick but my mum divorced him, and if we get together for the long run, like I know it's the first date, but what if we hit it off and you end up being a jerk? Like, I know I'm not making sense, but if you hurt people on a regular basis, I don't want to be a part of your life and-" 

Harry grabbed Lou's hand and held it to her lips, kissing each knuckle and finger. "I've only hurt one person, and it was Nick Grimshaw because he thinks it's stupid to be a girl alpha and alphas are tough by nature so u couldn't help it and yeah. I make an exception for Grimshaw. He's a dick." 

Lou smiled at Harry when she laced together their fingers, Harry's engulfing Lou's completely. "And you don't think it's creepy I was thinking about the future? Omegas always have to think ahead, you know?" 

Harry nodded. "My sister's an omega and she went through some shit with an alpha and I was practically raised as an omega until the tests and even then people thought the test messed up but. I'm an alpha and I won't hurt you. And I think it's lovely you want us together for the long run. I like that a lot." 

Lou grinned and settled into her seat, squeezing Harry's hand. 

The rest of the drive was silent, and when they reached the hotel, Harry climbed out and opened Lou's door. The omega looked worried and confused. 

"I don't, I don't want to have sex tonight, if you were planning that. If we don't get to know each other before sex, I think maybe we'll end up in a dead end because the emotional part was at the beginning." 

Harry kissed Lou's cheek. "I know. We've got a dinner reservation here. On the roof. All rented out." 

Lou gasped and ran to the door, pulling Harry along. "Come on, Harry! I've always wanted to have dinner on the roof here!" She screeched, yanking the front door open. 

"Lou, chill!" Harry laughed as they ran up the steps. "It's like, 20 floors, do you wanna run up all the stairs?" 

Lou pinned Harry to the wall in a quick moment of domination, odd and almost uncomfortable considering the height difference. "I bet I can beat you up these stairs, and I'm an omega. If you beat me, I'll kiss you. If I win, you better sweep me off my feet before you get a kiss. Go!" 

Lou took off, leaving Harry dazed before taking off as well. She was a few steps behind Lou the entire time, both girls giggling and laughing like lunatics. 

Reaching the top, they were both sweaty and panting. Lou collapsed on her chair, her hair frizzy and face shiny under the lights. Harry leaned against the wall to catch her breath. "Shit you're fast!" 

Lou dabbed the swear from her forehead with a napkin. "I've got little sisters and my little brother is an alpha. My mum is single and I spent most of my life chasing around hyperactive betas and omegas and an alpha. Hectic. Also I play footie." 

Harry plopped on her chair across from Lou with a woosh of breath. "That was intense."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School started last week busy busy busy but I'm gonna do it. I'll find a plot and I'll update regularly I will i promise.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They don't get food and talk. Niall's in there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided to work really hard to update regularly and after I pass this fucking date that is the basis for everyone's relationships, I'll add angst and fluff and smut and I'll get on a roll. I don't want to update too much, but not months apart, as that makes people lose interest, especially since my chapters are so short. So I think I'll start with every two weeks and make each chapter longer and better and I may add shorter chapters in between if I think I need to and maybe I'll work my way down to weekly but maybe it'll be bi-weekly until I finish. Who knows.

"Hello ladies, may I take your order? Busy busy night we're having, make it snappy. I don't have time to waste on you imbeciles." The waiter snapped, striding closer. 

Louis frowned while Harry groaned. "Shut it Neil. You're not funny. We don't even have menus. I should get Gemma to fire you." 

"For the last time, Harriet, I'm not Neil. And how could Gemma fire me? I'm the best waiter, and the best in bed with her, eh?" 

"Oh gross Niall I don't want to think of you and my sister fucking. It's gross. You're gross. Give me a menu and make me food. I hate you." 

Lou was smiling fondly at Harry bantering with this clearly alpha waiter. 

"And who might this be? Harriet, I thought we raised you better. I'm ashamed. She must be so embarrassed. Hey princess, I'm Niall and you should probably steer clear of that train wreck of a girl. Horrible really." 

"I'm Lou and I think she's too hot for a train wreck, Neil. You're fucking her sister so she has to be decent."

"Decent? Decent?! Excuse me, Lou, but I am far from just decent!" Harry spluttered. 

Niall sighed. "You know what you just set yourself up for righ-" "you mean you're horrible? If you mean in bed, I'm sorry, but this won't work out, I need some skill darlin-" "I mean you just completely set yourself up for being called worse than decent Haz, honestly how stupid can you get?" 

"I'll have you know I'm fantastic in bed, like wicked with my fingers and tongue. I bet you'll cry every time I'm that good." Harry protested. 

"We'll see. I hear I'm pretty good in bed too. You better be telling the truth. Niall dear, can I please have a menu?" 

Niall grinned. "I like you. Not her. Harry, I like Lou more than you." 

"Uuhhh!" Harry protested. "Give us a damn menu and leave me alone you loser." 

Niall tossed menus to both girls, rocking on his feet as they looked. 

Lou opened her mouth to order first. "I want this burger with everything on it and sweet potato fries. And any white wine because why not."

"Harry?" 

"I want the shrimp plate. Same drink as Lou. Chop chop, Neil!" 

"Chop chop Neil," Niall mimicked in a high pitched voice as he walked away. "Fuckin' lesbians." 

"Don't be rude!" Harry shouted back. "Loser." 

Lou watched on, loving his Harry acted when she was comfortable and happy. 

"Sorry about him, he's my sister's boyfriend and she owns a restaurant and they cook for dinners up here a lot." Harry spoke. 

"I thought you were really cute with him. Not dating, but you look like friends." 

"He was my roomie before he met Gems and I met my best friend Liam when they moved in together." Harry explained. 

Lou felt a spark of jealousy in her stomach, wondering if this Liam was an omega or beta that would be with Harry, but instead of asking who Liam was, she spoke about her own room mate. 

"Zayn has been my roomie since freshman. He's a real doll, used to threaten alphas for hitting on me or being stupid brutes. Not that you're a stupid brute, but. You know. Some alphas are." Lou smiled. 

Harry's brow furrowed when she heard of Zayn. Could he be an alpha that fucks her into next Tuesday? Harry was sure Lou was lesbian as well, but maybe a nice male alpha was something she wanted. 

"What does Zayn look like?" Harry asked. 

Lou smirked to herself. "He's fucking gorgeous. His face is literal perfection. I used to have the hugest crush on him. Me and my sister wrote poems about his face. But I mean. Girls." 

Harry growled quietly. "What is he?" 

"An omega. We knew each other as kids and he was always quiet and artistic but looked kinda like an alpha but he went into a mini heat like me on testing day." 

"Oh."

Lou giggled. "Were you jealous about Zayn? He's a total wimp. And totally gay. And an omega. We'd never be together." 

"I just, I um, I wasn't sure like, I didn't, I like you? Like we haven't known each other long- like we net today, but you make me really happy and I feel a connection? Liam is all into that soulmate stuff and reads me all these articles of soul bonded couples retelling their meeting and mating and I never thought much of it but I felt something."

Lou grinned, small dimples popping out. "I felt something too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is very choppy and full of dialogue but I needed for each character to say what they felt and their thoughts to be able to continue. Bear with me. Thank you!! Comments spur me on- give me advice, ask for something to happen, give me your thoughts. Thanks!!!! (Unedited btw. If you find any mistakes, please tell me.)


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk and Niall and Gemma think they're soulmates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I'm going to update every other Thursday to begin with. I'll make the chapters longer and better and get them out of the date. The next chapter will end the date and have them do other things. Apologies

When Niall placed their meals on the table some minutes later, he prepared to say something witty, but stopped when he felt the love in the air. Harry's alpha hormones were mingling with Lou's omega ones, and they were laced with fond. Niall knew they were soulmates. 

He quietly walked back to the kitchen to his own mate. "I think she's finally done it, Gems," Niall whispered, hugging his omega from behind. 

Gemma turned so she was nuzzled into Niall. "You think she's good for Hazza?" She murmured. 

"I could feel it babe. They're meant for each other. Harry was giving Lou that look like she wants to ravish her but she wants to hold her and protect her. Lou seems completely enamored," Niall assured Gemma softly. 

"I was worried about her. She always voiced how she didn't want to mate with a male omega, and I knew that wouldn't work, with the way their built. I didn't know if there'd be a female omega, or even a beta, that would be fine with her being a girl and not a man with a knot," She admitted. "Harry's so lovely. Lou better be nice." 

Niall laughed softly. "I talked to them for about five minutes and I've never seen anybody more in love than them two." 

-

The couple ate in a comfortable silence for a minute. "Did Niall make this or your sister?" Lou asked, breaking the silence. 

"I think it's a joint effort. Niall's a waiter but he's learning to cook to help for when Gemma gets pregnant and bitchy." 

"Nice." 

The interrupted silence fell over the women again, this time awkward and uncomfortable. 

Lou shifted in her seat slightly, running through things to say in her mind. 

"Hey. What's it like being an alpha?" She asked loudly. 

Harry glanced up from her meal, watching Lou's movements. "I bet it's the same as being an omega. I'm just broader and have ruts." 

"But..." Lou thinks of how to word it. "Do you like being fucked? Or like is there this need to fuck something but you don't have a dick?" 

Harry opens her mouth but closes it. "I never liked fingering myself. It hurt a bit and didn't feel right. Liam got me some of those special dildos for female alphas where it's mimics jerking off and you pop a knot kinda like. It's weird. It senses when you come and I think there's a new version out for trans girls who can't get a dick that has a tube that connects in your vagina so when you come it flows up the tube and out the slit? It's weird. I bet Liam's gonna buy it for me." 

"Romantic dinner conversation ladies. All good?" Niall asked, making Harry jump. 

"Jesus Niall, warn a girl before you come shouting at us!" Harry laughed. 

"Go away Niall I'm asking questions about alphas that you can't answer because you're a dude. Leave," Lou orders. 

"Fine! Bye! Enjoy dinner without me!" 

"Can you fuck someone in the dildo? Like is it a strap on?" Lou asked. 

"It is a strap on and I bet it should work but I've never tried it on anyone." Harry admits. 

"Are you... Are you a virgin? There's nothing wrong with it but you look like you get laid a lot. I know I did in high school." 

Harry laughed. "Nooo, no way am I a virgin. I don't get a knot to control my rut in high school so I was all over girls likes horny beast. I guess I am a horny beast on my rut. I just got it under control and didn't go all crazy finding a girl to eat me out that wouldn't expect too much back because I was too interested on getting off as much as I could." 

"Yeah, on my heats, I had so many guys and girls come in to help me because I just always wanted more and the guys were too rough and the girls weren't very skilled so. I was horny all the time. I was so horny on my periods too it was crazy but nobody would fuck me with blood gushing from my uterus. Are you horny on your period?" 

Harry blushed and looked down. "Well, I'm an alpha, so I can't get pregnant, so my body doesn't produce and eggs, so I don't get periods. My mom told me about it and gave me the talk and when I hadn't had it at 14 we panicked an the doctor said that since I was an alpha I wouldn't get them because I'm not made to make babies." 

Lou whined. "Unfair! Periods suck!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if you find mistakes. If you want to talk to me or beta or anything kik me at mmaaryyyy. Weird kik sorry loves. Bye!


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn and Liam meet and everyone is drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres an update celebrationg fireproof! **** i will update thursday to stay on schedule!!!! it'll be short rpobs but there so!!!!
> 
> yooo i wrote so much! look at how long the chapter is! fantastic! 3k!
> 
> *- italics is lou, bold is harry for texts

                “Zayn, I'm in love,” Lou flung her hand over her head and she groaned.

                “You’ve said. It’s been a week, babe. Call her, text her, invite her over for game night, find her flat, visit her, I'm tired of you moaning and groaning about this girl,” Zayn sighed. “You do have her number, right?”

                “Duh? I wouldn’t let a girl get away without her number. What kind of person do you think I am, Zee?”

                “A fool in love. Go get her!”

                Lou bit her lip, looking up at Zayn from her spot on the couch. “Maybe she doesn’t want me to contact her? I mean, she has my number too! She's supposed to be the alpha who makes the first moves and buys me pretty things even when I say I only want her and… what if she doesn’t like me, oh god Zayn? I can’t deal with unrequited love!”

                “Jesus, Lou! This Harry bought you super expensive food and rented out the top of a highly popular hotel restaurant for you! Invite her to game night! Do it. Go invite your girl to game night right now. If she has a roommate, invite them. El and Stan are coming, but Pezza and the girls can’t make it. Band practice or summat. We need more people!”

“Okay. You’re right. I’ll invites her and Lime or whoever she said her roommate is. I got this. I'm gonna text her. Right now. Okay.”

                Lou stared at Zayn expectantly, willing him to leave the room so she could text Harry. He sighed but walked away anyway.

                _Yo Harry it’s Lou and Zayn is ready to KILL me and wants to meet you and we’ve got game night at our flat on Sunday with some mates0 but the girls can’t make it so we’re four down_

_And we were wondering if you and whosit wanna come? It’s at 6:30 and we usually get smashed and I’ve been meaning to make it not Sunday but who am I to break tradition?_

_I cannot remember his name_

_Lime_

_Leemo_

_Lean_

_Loser_

_Idk Harry_

_Bring whoever_

_If you can make it_

_Which we hope you can_

_By we I mean me and zen_

_zayn_

_Sorry for the 9578945890 million texts_

“Zayn I sent too many!” Lou shouted for her friend to come back.

                “What do you mean you sent too many- Jesus Christ Lou that’s way too many you look clingy! Haven’t I raised you better? Give me that!”

                “Um excuse me no what are you doing, Zayn! Give it back!” Lou screamed as Zayn snagged her phone and locked himself in the bathroom.

_its zayn and lou is stupid and she sent too many txts and im sorry bro just come ovr ok shes been rly ANOYING why am I living w her pls help by coming ovr shes whiny and i hate it ly m8_

                “Zayn what are you doing are you sending her baby pictures – why would I have those on my phone? – Or nudes from like 20 years ago, okay that’s gross like four years ago. Who wants to see 16 year old me’s’ body?” Lou banged on the door, tryin to turn the knob.

                “You have nudes on here from when you were 16? Why’d you keep them? I always deleted mine after they were sent in case my mum snooped, before she got all pissy and wanted me to leave. I should’ve left em out to make her mad!”

                “I don’t care about your nudes give me my phone!”

                “Yeah, okay… wait! A text!” Zayn cackled.

                “Zayn Malik if you look at that text I will actually murder you and you know I will.”

                “Too late! It says ‘Sunday? We can do Sunday. I’ll see if I can bring some other mates since you’re down four. Liam – that’s his name love – is gonna come.’ And then there’s another! ‘I mean I haven’t told him but he’s a pushover kinda so he’ll come. Maybe I’ll bring nemma.’ Who the fuck is nemma?”

                “Zayn please give it back! Nemma is Niall and his omega Gemma aka Harry’s sister! Please!”

                Zayn laughed and pushed open the door. “Here ya go, lover girl!”

                As Zayn walked away, Lou sat down and read Harry’s texts, getting a new one in the process.

                **Yo, is your roommate Zayn Milk? Malk? Moon? Idk something like that**

_Malik. Why?_

**Ho ho ho hohoh o**

**Liam has such a crush on him**

**Exciting!!!!**

_What’s Liam’s last name?_

**Payne. Like pain but. Yeha**

****yeah**

**giddyup**

_You’re a nerd styles_

                “Yo Zayn! You know a Liam Payne?” Lou shouted.

                There was a loud crash from Zayn room and he threw open the door. “Liam Payne? What about him?”

                “You know him?” Lou asked.

                Zayn shrugged, feigning indifference. “I’ve seen him around. He’s cute.”

                Lou smirked. “Do you have a crush on him or something?”

                His eyes widened. “Lou! No! I don’t like Liam!” Lou stared at him. “Okay maybe I do a little.” Lou’s eye bored into his soul. (That’s what it felt like to Zayn at least.) “Okay, maybe a lot. Why?”

                “Oh,” Lou shrugged. “No reason.”

                Giggling, Lou scampered off to her room.

_Ho ho ho hohoh o_

_Zayn just admitted a massive crush on you boy_

_Yooooooo_

~

                When Sunday rolled around, Zayn and Lou were buzzing. Their flat was spotless, board and video games were set out, Chinese, pizza and alcohol was on the counter in the kitchen with paper plates.

                Eleanor and Stan arrived together, both looking freshly fucked and blissed.

                "Oh come on you horny little bastards! I thought we agreed that you two wouldn't fuck before game night after The Incident!" Lou groaned.

                The Incident - with a capital I - was on the fourth or fifth game night years ago and Eleanor and Stan were friends with benefits. When they fucked, they wanted to fuck again few hours later. Before they started dating, there was this sex drive where they threw all of their emotions into fucking and were always up to it and always so horny. Naturally, Lou found them fucking in her bathroom when she was leading a wasted Jesy to the shower.

                Eleanor was a beta and Stan was an alpha, but they still managed a bond and fucked like every day.

                "I just got off my period so. Duh we had to have sex," Eleanor giggled, still slightly dazed.

                Apparently Stan was a good shag.

                "Just get inside. I've invited Harry _aka_ the girl I'm going to try to spend the rest of my life with and she's bringing her roomie _aka_ Zayn's crush who has a crush on him and maybe her sister and her alpha. Harry's an alpha and I fancy myself in love so don't embarrass me please," Lou informed, tossing a box of pizza to Stan and letting them flop on the couch.

                Eleanor snorted. "That's why it's so clean in here? I was flattered that you'd clean for me, but you didn't. Are the girls coming or do I have to watch four lovesick fools and my lovesick fool without anyone to watch them with?"

                "Yeah, Jade texted me and said they booked a gig and I asked her I'd she wanted us there but she said she hurt us for not having game night so here we are!" Zayn appeared from the kitchen in a jumper too big and jeggings.

                The doorbell rang again as Lou received a text from Harry.

**I think I'm here? I've got Liam and Niall and Gemma and alcohol and gummy worms**

**Was I supposed to bring food?**

**I did lol**

                Lou giggled and flounced to the door, opening it to reveal Harry in a white v-neck popping out her boobs and jeans. Harry looked at Lou, grinning wildly. "You look good," she commented.

                Lou scoffed; she was in a button down missing buttons and leggings. "Thanks. You look great."

                The two beamed at each other until Zayn walked into the entryway. "Was there anyone even there or have you been kidnapped because I'm not canceling game night to find you, I hope you know tha- oh. Hi."

                Lou turned and raised an eyebrow at Zayn. "You would play games and get drunk while I was out god knows where tied up? Would you at least call the police or someone to say I was taken?"

                Zayn shrugged. "It's game night babe."

                Niall sighed from behind Harry, still outside with his arm around Gemma's waist. "I get that you gay folk have some special greeting but I want to get my lady inside so if you could shove off, also I'm hungry and smell Chinese."

                Lou blinked and Zayn laughed. "Come on in you guys. Harry, Niall, oh wow you look like Harry you're either Gemma or his mother or offspring. And - Liam?"

                Harry led her troupe in, winking at Lou at Zayn's question. "Zayn! Um… hi? I didn't know you were gonna be here!" Liam stuttered, blushing like mad.

                "Me neither, mate. Lou, a word?" Zayn huffed

                Lou gestured for everyone to make themselves comfortable as Zayn led her away. "What the _fuck? Why is Liam Payne here?_ How am I supposed to contain myself? I'm gonna get drunk and climb all over him and try to mount his dick!"

                "He's Harry's best friend and roommate! Lime, remember? And chill mate, if you do any of that, I honestly don't think he'll mind," Lou comforted.

                “What is that even supposed to mean?!” Zayn shrieked.

                “What do you think? Harry says he’s got the hots for you. You fancy him as well, he’s an alpha, you’re an omega, you go climb him and mount his dick, babe. Beat the stereotypes and ask him out. Be a strong independent omega who really wants a man,” Lou all but shouts.

                “Okay, shush! Maybe we’ll talk-” Zayn is interrupted by Lou.

                “Oh you will tal-”

                “Maybe we won-”

                “Lou? Oh, sorry, am I interrupting you guys?” Harry pops her head around the corner to look at the omegas.

                “We were just talking about Ziam and how they’ll talk, you didn’t interrupt anything love,” Lou reassured.

                “Well, Stan said to fetch you and Zayn so we could start so…”

                Lou and Zayn headed back to the living room and plopped on the couch. “Okay, we’ve got some new members here!” Lou shouted. “Stan and Eleanor are mated. Niall and Gemma are mated. I want alcohol.”

                Harry dropped herself next to Lou and pulled Lou onto her lap. Liam sat carefully between them and Zayn. “Liam and Zayn need to loosen up,” Harry whispered to Lou.

“El, get some shots!” Lou snapped at the beta.

                Eleanor and Gemma jumped up from talking and walked to the kitchen. Stan put in FIFA and tossed controllers to Lou and Liam. “I'm going to beat you this time, Tomlinson!” Stan threatened.

                “You wish, big boy,” Lou laughed. She leaned back and whispered to Harry “I'm amazing at this. Stan’s never beat me. Liam any good?”

                Harry giggled. “I'm shit at this and I beat Liam. He’s hopeless.”

                Gemma came back to the room, holding a tray of shot glasses surrounded by tequila and vodka. Eleanor followed quickly with the pizza and Chinese and threw crisps at them. “I feel like a waitress. Is this sexism?” Gemma remarked.

                “Zayn and Stan are always the first for the shots and the girls like to bring out the food. Pigs, all four of them. When Ed comes he’s usually drunk before he gets here.”

                “Who are the girls and who is Ed?” Harry asks, possession and jealousy dripping in her tone.

                “The girls are in a band called Little Mix, Jade, Leigh-Anne, Jesy, and Perrie. They’re all omegas. Ed’s an alpha. He travels a lot and always brings back foreign booze,” Zayn explains, talking for the first time since Harry interrupted them.

                “Does this Ed have a mate?” Liam piped up quietly.

                Niall winked at Harry and Lou, motioning between Liam and Zayn. “Nah, but he doesn’t want to settle down yet. He claims he’s straight as a pole, but I’ve seen him with a bloke too many times to be really straight. More of a fuck and leave type guy,” Lou says. “Now, pass me a vodka shot and a pint. I wanna get wasted and kick Liam and Stan’s asses at FIFA.”

                The shot glasses were passed around and each person downed a few. Pleasantly buzzed, Lou started the game, gulping down beers along the way. “Chill babe, don’t drink too much at once!” Harry chided in a soft whisper.

                Lou nuzzled back into Harry’s chest. “Hmmmm… you’re warm. I don’t wanna move,” she hummed.

                Harry kissed the side of her temple and reached for her own bottle. “Do you guys have any other games? Drunken Just Dance is a favorite.”

                Niall whooped, having drunk the most out of everyone. “Just Dance! Just Dance!” he cackled.

                Gemma blushed a furious red at her alpha’s yelling. “Niall, please don’t be so loud!” she scolded lightly.

                “LET HIM BE LOUD!” Lou yelled suddenly, right in Harry’s ear. “We’re loud at game night! Loud and drunk!”

                “I WANNA PLAY JUST DANCE!” Niall shouted, doing a little dance that was more of a stumble.

                “ZAYN,” Lou demanded.

                Zayn sighed and put in the requested game. Harry was chugging the rest of her drink when Louis jumped up and knocked the contents all over Harry and the couch. Zayn gasped but the girls just laughed. “You’re all wasted,” Zayn muttered.

                Stan offered Zayn a drink and after an hour and a few joints brandished by Lou, everyone was wonderfully smashed and high. “-and then she spit it everywhere! Like he thought she took this huge gulp of his 90 pound scotch and it went everywhere and Ed looked seconds from murdering her before she told him it was just apple juice! I think we recorded it somewhere, right Lou?” Zayn paused from his enthusiastic storytelling to look at Lou.

                Her eyes were glazed and she had an absent smile on her face. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she whispered, breaking off into a howl of laughter. “But it sounds funny! Was I there?”

                “Lou doesn’t remember anything!” Eleanor bellowed, giggling into her hand.

                “I thinks,” Harry slurred, “I thinks that I needs sleep and that my Lou Lou does too because wowza I'm really drink. And floaty.”

                Liam leapt up, standing on the couch. “You want a drink? Bat-Liam will make it!” he crowed, his hands in fists on his hips like a superhero.

                “Noooo Lime, I _am_ drink!” Harry protested, hitting his leg.

                Lou copied Harry’s movements, hitting Liam’s leg lightly. “You’re a drink?” Liam gasped. “We have to save you!”

                Lou gasped as well, mimicking Liam. “Are you a drink? Can I drink you?” she gasped again, looking like she just found the answers to the universe. “Can _I_ be Bat-Liam? I'm flying!”

                Harry stared at Lou. “I'm flying too!” she whispered gleefully. “I'm Bat-Liam!”

                “Ladies, ladies!” Liam jumped again. “There can only be one bat-Liam! ME!”

                The trio fell giggling onto a dozing Zayn, all falling asleep in a big pile.

~

                When Harry woke up, she registered three things. One\- there was a circus going on in her head. Two\- she was not in her bad. Three\- There was a pair of boobs smashed in her face.

                She groaned when she sat up, Lou flopping down onto the couch and snapping awake. “What?” she snapped up, looking around her before her eyes landed on Harry. “Harry!” she grinned, the smile lighting up her face.

                “You look too happy. How are you happy? There is an elephant stomping around in my brain!” Harry groaned.

                “Aww,” Lou hummed sympathetically, leaning over to scratch at Harry’s scalp through her hair. “I know, it hurts.”

                “Do you not have a headache?”

                “Oh, I really do, I’ve just done this enough to forget it. I always tell myself I can handle a bit of pain and it’s all good!”

                Harry decided that she would think about that remark later.

                “Do you want to make me breakfast and get me painkillers please maybe?” Harry whimpered, clenching her eyes shut as Lou drew back her hand.

                “Only because you asked so nicely.”

~

                After hours of sorting through hangovers and breakfast and painkillers and exchanging numbers with promises of ‘next week, definitely’, Zayn and Lou were alone again.

                “Mate, I am starving,” Zayn stated truthfully. “Like, I know we just had breakfast, but I am ravenous.”

                “Oh my _god_ , same!” Lou sighed. “I’ve got quite the headache as well.”

                Zayn frowned at that comment. “Are you okay? Did you take any painkillers? You looked fine earlier. Babe, you don’t have to be chipper for all of us; we’re all miserable here you know,” he whispered in concern.

                “I’m fine, I just need some food and water and maybe some Tylenol. I'm good,” she attempted to reassure Zayn and stand up, only for him to press her gently back into the couch.

                “Lay down, love. What kind of food do you want?”

                “Something greasy if you’re offering. I'm gonna put in a movie and you can fetch something while I watch and nap. Pamper me, Malik.” Lou waved him off with a flourish of her hand and closed her eyes.

                Zayn chuckled and shook his head fondly. “Still a snob. Ill fetch Nando’s, be right back!”

~

                At the Styles/Payne residence, Harry was sat with Liam curled up with her. “He’s so hot, Haz, like tell me one omega hotter than him,” Liam whined.

                Harry opened her mouth to say ‘Lou’, but Liam shushed her. “It was rhetorical. You have to say Lou. I'm talking about Zayn. I like Zayn. I want Zayn to ride my face.”

                Harry’s eyes widened. “Can you imagine Lou during heats like all hot and flushed and wet and she can ride my face and I’ve got all these toys and I bet she does too holy _fuck_ Liam!”

                Liam groaned and let his head fall onto Harry’s collarbone. “I want to talk about my love; you want to talk about yours. We’re hopeless, Hazza.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you see any mistakes tell me please! comment and kudos yo!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ziam get their shit together but larry loses theirs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its like a little over 1k and a bit late but it's still thursday so im on schedule. :) see you the 25th at the latest for this one!

They were texting and calling _all week_ and Zayn was about to hurt somebody.

 

Lou would not shut _up_ about Harry. Harry this, Harry that, Harry told me this funny thing, Harry passed a test, Harry _everything_. Zayn was ready to kill her.

 

It was annoying, yes, but Zayn was jealous. Liam hadn't texted him _once_ since game night and it was Saturday and he had three days before he saw Liam again. He couldn't do it.

 

"Zayn, have you talked to the girls about coming here tomorrow?" Lou poked her head into Zayn's room.

 

"Uh yeah, everyone but Jesy'll be here. Ed included," he yawned in reply.

 

"Well Harry told me about this super cool game where you can have a lot of people play using their phones as controllers so she's gonna bring it and said Liam was gonna bake something for us to share so I needed to know how many people were gonna be here. If anyone cancels, yell."

 

"Will do."

 

You could say Zayn was almost dreading game night. There's a first time for everything.

 

~

 

Game night came and Liam and Zayn danced around each other and Harry and Lou kissed. The three girls that came fell in love (platonically) with Harry and Ed quickly became friends with and exchanged numbers with Liam, Harry, Niall, and Gemma.

 

All in all, it should've been a great night. Everyone was there, there was great food, foreign booze, Stan and Eleanor didn't run off to fuck in the bathroom, and Niall beat everyone in every game, claiming he felt strong and alive. He and Gemma never left each other's sides.

 

But Zayn didn't enjoy it. _Liam didn’t speak to him_.  He whined to Lou through their hangovers the next day.

 

"How am I supposed to mate with him when he won't talk to me? I'm pathetic. Lou, I'll never get any dick. Lou!"

 

Lou listened intently and Zayn knew something was wrong but he honestly did not care one bit about her and Harry. He was all that mattered.

 

“I know for a fact that Liam thinks you’re hot and wants to cuddle and kiss and mate you. _You_ text him bruh.”

 

Zayn tried to protest but Lou gave him that _look_ and he knew there was no backing out.

 

_hey liam its zayn_

**Zayn! Haven’t heard from you text wise yet! Lou’s been texting me occasionally but it’s mostly her and haz.**

**Any reason you texted?**

**There doesn’t have to be tho**

**I'm chill with just chatting**

 

_i dont really have a reason but if u wanted we could go out like for lunch or summat if your chill with that too_

**There’s a new place near my flat that’s supposed to have bomb pizza**

_PLEASE_

 

~

 

When Zayn and Liam were off starting their relationship, Lou was sat in her flat alone, worried about her blooming relationship with Harry.

 

They kissed at game night but hadn’t talked about it and Lou was growing increasingly worried for the future.

 

It’s not like Harry seemed _disgusted_ or anything, but she hadn’t talked to Lou since and was gone by the time the omega woke up.

 

She was itching to text Harry, to tell her how much she wanted it, but she _couldn’t_.

 

Even though Harry had taken her on a beautiful date and texted her since the first (perfect) game night they had together. The second game night Harry attended; she seemed more relaxed, content and settles. Lou had expected to spend another week texting and calling and just _talking_ , maybe even meeting up, but she was apparently wrong.

 

Lou _needed_ this relationship. She _needed_ Harry. It had barely been two weeks since they met but Lou was just so in love with the younger alpha already. It wasn’t just that Harry was an alpha, Harry was _sweet_. Harry was _kind_. Harry was just what Lou needed in a woman.

 

It wasn’t like Lou thought Harry didn’t want her; she had admitted a connection on the first date and held her hand the entire drive home and even walked her to the door. Lou just didn’t want to rush Harry. She knew from Harry’s storytelling that in the years since presentation, she’d been bullied and teased for her gender and dominance.  This made it seem like Harry’s first time in a _relationship_ relationship. She didn’t want to spring her desire for mating or love on the alpha and overwhelm her; that could scare Harry away, and Lou didn’t know what she would do if that happened.

 

~

 

Harry was no better. She had watched Liam’s face light up with joy at the text from Zayn, quickly making plans to have lunch with him. Harry was happy; she really was, but honestly? She was a bit jealous.

 

Ziam had been nervous and fidgety for the past week and a half and suddenly they were out at lunch. Lou and Harry were on a _roll_ together, desperate for each other, but it all stopped because _Harry was fucking stupid._

 

She had gone and made their first kiss drunk and forgotten. Harry didn’t or get though. She remembered how Lou tasted like the old wine Ed took. She remembered how her tongue felt and how her lips moved and how her eyes fluttered closed and Harry would give anything for it to happen again, but. She had done it. And she had scared Lou off.

 

~

 

“What are you in the mood for?” Liam asked, scanning the menu with his dark brown eyes.

 

“Anything greasy and pizza. I don’t even care at this point; pizza is all I need right now. Your company is a _major_ bonus.” Zayn licked his lips as he looked at the available toppings.

 

“Does a Hawaiian pizza sound good? I like feta if that’s okay. If it’s not I can do without or order a side of it-”

 

“I said I'm fine with anything. The only thing I would’ve said no to are anchovies, you’re fine Liam.”

 

Liam grinned, bright and happy and beckoned a waitress over. “What’s up hot stuff? You ready to order?” her eyes ran up and down Liam’s body and Zayn would’ve been jealous if it hadn’t been for the mating mark on her collarbone.

 

“We’re gonna share a Hawaiian pizza with feta cheese and some breadsticks. I would like water and Zayn can get whatever he wants,” Liam shared with a huge grin.

 

The waitress turned to Zayn and cocked her head “For you, cutie?” she asked and Zayn realized she must've seen two men and thought they would tip more if she was flirty.

 

It was honestly so sad that men would actually be nicer to her if she flirted; forget her mating mark obviously there. “Water’s fine with me too, thank you.”

 

Liam’s lips were pursed with thought. “Was she flirting with us or…?”

 

Zayn smiled. “She's mated love. You know some people will tip more if she's flirty because they think she's interested. I used to be a waiter and I wouldn’t take suppressants so smelled like omega and if I was super nice and flirty they’d do anything for attention, including tipping a ton of cash.”

 

Liam grimaced. “That’s awful. I'm not gonna tip more if an obviously mate waitress is pretending to flirt with me; I’ll tip more if they’re nice and prompt!”

 

The pizza and waters were taken to their table and they ate in silence, enjoying each other’s presences. After eating, Liam paid and they walked outside. ‘I really enjoyed lunch,” Zayn admitted quietly, resting his head on Liam’s shoulder.

 

Liam grinned another ship eating grin. “Me too. We should definitely do it again.”

 

~

 

Going home, Zayn didn’t expect to find Lou nearing tears, nearly wearing a hole in the ground.

 

“Lou?” he asked cautiously. “Are you okay?”

 

She shook her head dropping to her knees. “I don’t know why I'm so worked up over it but _I don’t know how to fix it_.”

 


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everything changes and harry is hurt and lou is guilty and everyone is terrified

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has always been part of the plot ive had in mind but it's crazy and scary and emtional and essential. completely out of the blue but thats the point.

" _Lou_!" Zayn cried, pleading. "Lou _please_ calm down, Lou what's _wrong_?”

 

Her breathing was shredded and harsh. Zayn had dropped to his knees in front of her, the excitement from his date leaving him.

 

"Lou," he tried again. "Lou, what's wrong? _What do you need to fix?_ "

 

"I d-don't, I-I-" she tried, clutching her chest and gasping.

 

"Take your time love. Breathe for me, _please_ ," Zayn soothed, grabbing her hands and holding them to his mouth. "Babe, is there a way you could show me so you don't have to strain yourself to tell me?"

 

Lou squeezed her eyes shut, breathing out shakily. "I-I..." She began. "I wante- Harry and I kissed. And, and she wasn't talking to me, o-or texting me an-and I texted her today to see what was up and, oh _god_ Zayn, I ruined everything!"

 

"What did you _do_ , love? Did you text her something bad? Let me see your phone."

 

Lou pointed across the room to the floor where her phone laid. " _Oh_ love," Zayn sighed, standing to pick up the shaking omega's phone. "Why did you throw it?"

 

"Because _I_ _fucked it up Zayn_ ; I told her! We've seen each other like four times and one of those was fast and half were spent wasted! She didn't deserve to hear that, Zayn _help me_."

 

-

 

Liam was so excited and so ready to gush to Harry about how his date with Zayn went.

 

But then he got home.

 

Harry was sitting on the couch, her face blank and eyes clouded. She was unmoving.

 

Liam immediately sobered down and approached her cautiously. "Harry?" He asked slowly, carefully. "Harry, what's up?"

 

The alpha turned her head slowly, eyes filled with tears when they reached Liam's. " _Liam_ ," she whispered, her voice hoarse. "I'm so _scared_."

 

Liam quickly sat down and pulled the girl into his lap, even though she was almost as broad as and taller than Liam. "Harry, why are you scared?" He asked, so worried, so _concerned_.

 

"I... Louis and I kissed on Sunday, you know?" She whispered slowly. "And I decided to text her about it. Ask her if we could meet up or cuddle or fuck or _anything_ , but... I don’t know if I want that with her anymore."

 

_-An hour prior-_

 

**Lou, I wanted to talk about Sunday**

 

**You mean a lot to me and I want to know what we are**

**I don't wanna ask you out with a text but I really do like you**

**Lou?**

**You there?**

 

Harry waited a minute in anticipation for a reply, but no text came. After five minutes, however; she received a phone call.

 

"Lou?"

 

"Harry," Lou's voice was trembling and her breathing was heavy. "Harry, shut up and let me tell you everything. Don't interrupt me. _Please_."

 

"I-um... Okay," Harry stuttered, fear forming in her gut.

 

"I won’t throw out any excuses and beg to be forgiven. Listen. You’ll hate me when this is over. You won’t want to see me ever again, but. I'm a _horrible_ person.”

 

Harry opened her mouth to protest, but Lou cut her off. “Don’t try to object. Just listen. When I was 15 I was pretty scared because I thought I was old and hot and at my prime and I wasn't but I thought I was and I was scared of rape and abuse and abduction and all the scary things in the world." She took a deep breath. "I was so _afraid_ Harry. I am now, maybe more now than then, but that's because not many people know this. My mum doesn't only hate me because I'm gay."

 

Lou paused for so long Harry thought she had hung up. _"I killed someone Harry."_

 

Harry couldn't keep quiet. " _What_? What the _hell_ Lou?!" she jumped up and banged her fist on the nearest wall.

 

"Harry you need to _listen!_ Nothing will make it better or make me innocent or not guilty about it but I had a reason! I carried around a gun or a tazer to protect myself in case anything happened. And it did."

 

Harry was trying so hard not to hang up and forget Lou and what she had brought her. "This man was walking home at night and I was too and he looked _sketchy_ and _scary_ so I was on _edge_. He was mated and had a baby on the way and gay bit I didn’t know that but that’s no excuse and I don't know _why_ I thought I was in trouble but he pulled his phone out and it looked like a gun to me in the dark and I grabbed mine and I _shot_ and I _ran_."

 

"What the actual _fuck_ Lou? Were you hurt before? Was it because of a trauma? Or were you just being scared?! I was terrified too! I have a vagina and I was teased and threatened and people told me they were gonna _fuck the alpha right out of me_ but I stayed in control and didn’t lay a finger on them, forget _killing_ them! And I even have alpha hormones! How the _hell_ did you react like that?!" Harry screamed, pacing.

 

"I was 15 and alone and my mum hated me and I was scared and I saw this alpha man walking at night and he pulled out something that looked like a gun and if you think I'd ever forgive myself for killing him you are _dead wrong_!" Lou yelled back.

 

The girls stayed on, silent, breathing hard and upset for minutes. "Did you get jail time?" Harry asked quietly, closing her eyes to contain the anger and confusion and fear running through her veins.

 

Lou sniffled. "Yeah. _Yeah_. I, um, I told them the whole thing and it was so scary but they said I had a right. A fucking right to kill a man, Harry. I tried to tell the jury that I needed more jail time than I got, but they gave me a year and community service. Most of the jury were alphas or betas that thought I would let them have their way with me if they let me off lightly. I deserve to be in jail right now."

 

"Fuck _yeah_ you do! You did it to an alpha who got out his _phone_ , how can _I_ trust you to not kill me if I box or work out and am beating up sacks hanging from the ceiling? Are you gonna think I'm gonna do that to you and beat me up and _kill_ me? _Lou_ , I can't do this with you if I can't _trust_ you. I need some time and I need you to not talk to me.”

 

Harry hung up and let the words sink in. Lou killed a man. _Lou fucking killed a human being._

 

She didn't move until Liam got home.

 

_-Present-_

 

Liam was speechless. _Stunned_. Lou seemed so _delicate_ and _sweet_ and like a great person. Not a murderer. _Definitely_ not a murderer.

 

"But I still _like_ her Liam. I'm still _grossly attracted_ to her. It's not just _biology_. I really like her, and right now, I really don't want to," Harry sighed. "It's really scary Liam. He was _mated_. He had a fucking _baby_ on the way, but she shot him."

 

"How did she get off so _lightly_?" Liam questioned.

 

Harry scowled. "She claims that the jury and the judge were alphas who weren't sympathetic to this gay male alpha and wanted to keep the young female omega safe."

 

"And what do you think?"

 

_"I don't know what to think anymore."_

-

 

" _Lou_ , that was. That was a big move. You just blurted it out?" Zayn ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his face.

 

Lou shook her head. "I kinda blurted it out but I had it in my head to tell her. I only told her that I was so afraid and about the man I... You know. And how I got off easy but didn't _want_ to."

 

"You didn't tell her about your mum and her stories? Or your dad? Lou, if you're going to tell her this you need to tell her _everything_. She could have your number deleted and she could have moved on already, afraid, no, scratch that, _terrified_ of you. If you tell her about them maybe she'll understand. They fucked up, love. You were a damaged little girl."

 

Lou stood in fury. "I am a damaged person _now_ , Zayn! I have been through hell and a hell of a lot of it is guilt and grief for what I did and Harry only knows that I fucking _killed_ him! What my parents did was no excuse for what I did; you know that! Your parents are jerks but look at you Mr. _Perfect!_ Her knowing everything won't change a _fucking thing!_ " Lou shouted her mouth open and cheeks pink. "I ruined the _best_ thing that's happened to me since you and it's because I'm a fucking _freak!_ "

 

Tears were dripping down both omegas' cheeks by this point. Zayn was on the ground, his mind up in the cloud in a desperate effort to find a way to fix everything. Lou was down below earth, _angry, lost, betrayed,_ and _depressed_. She could only see her mistakes and her past and thought she was supposed to be alone until eternity.

 

“ _Call her,”_ Zayn whispered. “Call Harry. Call her and tell her why you were so _afraid_ and so _on edge_. Call her and tell her how you manage to pretend like it never happened. Tell her about me if you must. She looks at you like you’re the fucking sun, Lou _. Don’t let that escape_.”

 

Lou wiped the tears from her cheeks and nodded. “I need to tell her why. I shouldn’t have told her but I did and she needs more than what I told her to make a decision as to whether she still likes me.”

 

Zayn stood, handed Lou her phone, and walked to his bedroom for a well needed and deserved nap.

 

Lou stared at the phone in her lap for a solid minute before picking it up, her hands shaking. She tapped her contacts and chose Harry, watching it dial, staring at the picture of Harry she has as her contact picture.

 

On the other end of the call, Harry glared at her phone, listening to the ringtone and wanting very desperately to answer, but she didn’t want to hear Lou’s half assed excuses. “ _Answer_ _it_ ,” Liam urged, nudging Harry’s shoulder. “She might have something to say.”

 

Harry sighed and grabbed the phone, hitting accept and putting it on speaker. She’d rather have Liam hear it from Lou instead of Harry rendition.

 

“Harry?” Lou’s voice asked, shaking and sad. “Harry I'm _so sorry_. I shouldn’t have told you that. I shouldn’t have put that on you. I should have waited until we knew each other and you could make a decision about never talking to me again with knowing me under your belt. _I'm so sorry.”_

 

Harry swallowed the rising anger in her throat. “Why _not_ now? Why would you keep this fucking huge thing from me? What if I really liked you? What if we _dated_ , Lou? What would you do? Was I supposed to throw the future we don’t have away? And what about you? I don’t know if I can trust you to not go around shooting innocent mated gay pregnant alphas. I thought we were _getting_ somewhere, Lou and you throw this on me and tell me you wish you _hadn’t told me?_ ” she spat, furious.

 

A small cry emitted from Lou’s mouth on the other end. “I know, I know it’s too much. But you _need to hear me out on this_. It doesn’t excuse what I did, I know, I'm a _horrible_ person, a _freak_ who doesn’t deserve any affection, but you _need_ _to listen_.”

 

“You told me that last time and look where that led. I’ll listen, but I won’t forgive you.”

 

“That’s reasonable. _Safe_. It makes sense. _Okay_ ,” Lou inhaled sharply through her nose. “Okay. My mum married a dick and that dick is my father. They mated and my mum was so in love she says. She says he was so nice to her at first, he was gentle, he was kind, he got her to mate. After they mated, he was horrible. She got pregnant, and you know breaking off a bond is _painful_ and _miserable_ and impossible while pregnant. So she had me. I fucking kept her in that house for years longer that she would have been there if she hadn’t gotten pregnant. It was before abortion was legal. She told me, still tells me, that she would have gotten an abortion if she could have. It’s pretty disheartening. Especially when I lived the first two years of my life with an abusive dick. I had to break my bond with him because he was my dad and my mums mate, you know? He would hit me and her and all I remember is that I was so scared all the time and he would hurt me and I would scream and cry. When my mum was strong enough to break the bond, the damage was done. It was set that I was going to be an omega because in my most influential years I was mixed with _dominance_ and _violence_ , forcing me to submit and be hurt."

 

Harry's heart was absolutely breaking for Lou, but she couldn't let this affect her. She _had_ to make a decision based on her own emotions as thoughts, but she also needed a backstory.

 

"What does this have to do with you killing him?" Harry scowled.

 

"When I was most vulnerable and learning the most about life, I was taught submission and violence. Omega and murderer. It's not an excuse but it's not the whole story." Lou paused to swallow. "Then she met Mark, who raised me even through the _killing_ and _lesbianism_ and _omega tendencies_. She had four girls with him, my sisters. We made sure that they were kept safe in their younger years and Lottie's an omega and Fizzy's a beta because she never settled for anything less than total control and the only alphas in my family line are the fathers, and even they had no alpha sibling. Anyway, I had my sisters to protect. I constantly worried about them but I had my own problems because I was always so afraid. I was realizing how I felt about girls and I was noticing the stares I got from men and, earlier you asked if something happened to make me not trust men, and yes. Something did happen.

 

"I know you're thinking rape or kidnapping, but it wasn't that. Threats. Threats came in the mail every day. Bricks were thrown at my window. Gunshots in the dark. I was fucking terrified Harry. Paranoid. I didn't want to die."

 

Harry connected the dots in her mind. "So when it looked like he had a weapon you assumed he was out to kill you so you shot first."

 

"Yeah," Lou whispered, her voice cracking. " _Yeah_. I was so _scared_."

 

"How did I not notice something was up? You can usually tell if someone has been through something traumatic. Not with you," Harry questioned.

 

"It goes back to my biological father. I would scream and cry but if someone came to visit, I had to shut up and act normal and happy. During the threats, I wasn't going to scare my family. After I killed him, I had to put up a blank front in jail or it was going to be my end. I had to act differently around my sisters. Mark stayed but he left three years later and even though mum is married and mated and has twins already, she still blames me for Mark and her divorce. It has never been sunshine and daises for me, Harry. I’ve had a fucking _horrible_ life, but I'm a horrible person to go with it. And I _know_ this is awful to ask of you, but could you maybe find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me?"

 

Harry hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> check out my other works and comment (tell me about my esential (and highly illegal (dont murder people)) twist!)
> 
> news!!!!!!!!!!  
> -updates once a week!!!!  
> -angst  
> -smut coming your way  
> -hate sex  
> -;)  
> -see you on the 1st of october!  
> -(unless you see more of this on the 29th)  
> -;)  
> -BYE


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gemma is a dick and zayn loves lou so much and harry is sad and lou is hurt but theyre starting to patch it up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didnt update for smg for two reasons 1- i wasnt done with the chapter or even close and 2- smg was :// like i love it but it has not ok lyrics at some parts so i didnt update sunday. soz.

It had been _two weeks_ since they last spoke. _Two weeks_ of Harry flinching at any noise, _two weeks_ of Lou being completely off guard, _two weeks_ of Zayn and Liam meeting up in secret to discuss their and their friends' relationships.

 

It was on the beginning of the third week only slightly past noon that Gemma punched the door to the Malik-Tomlinson flat open and screamed. "Lou _fucking_ Tomlinson you get in here and explain yourself right now!"

 

Zayn jumped from his room and ran to the door to see who was there. "Gemma?" He asked, confused.

 

She glared at him, a harsh scowl adorning her face. "Where is Lou?" She growled.

 

Zayn's eyes widened and he took a step back. "As-asleep," he stuttered.

 

Gemma took threatening steps toward him. "Go fucking _wake her up_! I need to yell at her for doing this to Harry! She’s been _stupid_ and _horrible_!"

 

Zayn gaped and a surge of pure fury pulsed through him. "Okay now, you need to  _shut up_  and listen. Lou did this  _five years ago_. This was  _not_  to Harry. This is her  _coming clean_  about something that  _tears her up._  Her telling Harry was the ultimate trust move. Lou  _loves_  Harry. Lou  _hates_  herself. Don't you  _dare_  say she fucking  _did this to Harry_ ," he spat.

 

"Oh _yeah_? If she didn't do this to Harry _why did she tell her?!"_

 

Zayn threw his arms up in exasperation. "Was Lou just not supposed to tell Harry about something that scars her? It's fucking  _terrifying_  how she gets. What if they moved in together and Lou had a vivid nightmare about it? Her own fucking mother kicked her out and hates her because she’s gay and she has nightmares almost every night! If Lou didn't tell Harry, she could have relapsed. Harry could find her  _dead_  one day from her neglecting herself and letting the guilt and fear and regret and self-hatred take over her! Think of what that would do to Harry! Imagine Harry moved in with Lou and they were mated and Lou sprung it on her then? What if Lou did die because of the effect this has on her and Harry lost her mate? What if they had kids? Harry would be depressed, but the kid with the parental bond? That kid would be  _gone_. So you tell me it would be better if Lou kept this a secret from Harry. I love Lou to death and she hasn't been sleeping and she is now and if you think I'm going to wake my best friend up to be yelled at by the love of her life's sister for something she didn’t do wrong you are horribly wrong! Lou saved me too, okay Gemma? This horrid thing she did ruined her mentality but it's made her so much wiser and so much more compassionate!" He screamed.

 

Gemma looked _furious_ , clenching her jaw and flaring her nostrils. "Don't think I won't tell Harry and Liam about how fucked up you all are. Don't think they won't delete your numbers and leave."

 

Zayn smirked. "I don't think you know how they think then."

 

Gemma squinted at Zayn and stalked off, slamming the door.

 

-

 

After Gemma left, Zayn called Harry. She picked up on the fourth ring. "Zayn?" She whispered pitifully.

 

Zayn was not going to be sympathetic. "Your _fuck up of a sister_ just game _barging_ into my home _demanding_ me to wake Lou up, and she's asleep for the second time since her telling you, so she could yell at her for doing this to you like she did anything rude to you. Know why she came here?" He growled.

 

" _Hey_ ," Harry said, low and sharp. "Don't call Gemma a fuck up."

 

"She claimed that Lou telling you was a personal offense to you and said it'd be better off if she didn't tell you. She didn't care about the hell Lou went through after and she didn't care about the well-being of my fucking best friend and called us fuck ups so I think I can be a little bit _rude_." Zayn snapped.

 

"I'm sure she didn't mean it. What did sh- oh hey Gemma!"

 

Zayn groaned as Harry greeted the omega. "She's going to fuck up the story, Harry." His claim fell on deaf ears as Gemma burst into story.

 

"So I was at Lou's because I wanted to yell at her for doing this to you but Zayn wouldn't let me see this and he called me rude names and spewed nonsense about Lou and how her not telling you would be worse and said stuff about you finding her dead and her not sleeping but I couldn't care because they're both such fuck ups man."

 

"I did not call her rude names Jesus _Christ_ man!" Zayn sighed.

 

Harry whimpered. "What do you mean find her dead? Zayn?" She asked.

 

"Wait," Gemma's voice said. "Are you actually _talking_ to Zayn?"

 

Rustling like Harry nodded. " _Zayn_ what's she talking about?" She asked again.

 

Zayn sighed again. "After it happened Lou literally _beat herself up_. She let anyone do anything with her. She didn't eat enough as she slept for days on end then not at all. She shook and cried and she would hurt herself. Her mum didn't try to help her at all and she begged me so many times to let her die, help her kill herself, but I couldn't let that happen. Sometimes, even now, she remembers and overthinks and _screams_ and _cries_ and she has nightmares about it and it's _terrifying_ to hear her screams at night. She'd think she was a burden to you and would let herself waste away. I tried to tell Gemma that if you didn't know why she was like that, you couldn't help her. You would beg and ask what was up and she'd talk about him or his omega and you'd be so _confused_ and so _scared_ and she could tell you in her moment of total weakness and anxiety that she killed a man in fear and _you'd leave her_. You wouldn't react. You'd be _so scared_ and she'd be on her own and she wouldn't tell me and she'd fall again and if I didn't know she'd be _dead_ because she needs to be told it's okay to be scared and you would let her die but Gemma was _so fucking hard headed_ that she said Lou shouldn't have told you."

 

Harry gasped like she realized something horrible. "Oh my _god_ I should've known! She was afraid that I was abusive when we first went on a date and I mentioned beating Nick Grimshaw up! She talked about her sisters with so much love but didn't mention her mum and said her dad was a dick and couldn't be with anyone like him because he left such huge marks on her! There was always something about her scent and her air and it was _guilt_ and _distress_!  She let her fear through and I never _noticed_ anything!" Harry cried.

 

"She's adapted to this lifestyle so she doesn't give it away. She's scared of everything and if you think it's hard for you, imagine how hard it is for her. She spilled her biggest secret to this girl she fucking adores and you leave her and I have to tell her that Gemma was here and she'll know that Gemma blames her and she'll think you _hate_ her. Harry, you need to call her or come over. Soon, but not now. She's sleeping and I need to get food in her. Any comfort foods of hers you’ve introduced or something that I don’t know about?" Zayn asked. _As if Lou wouldn’t tell me something._

 

"She had a burger on our first date; have her eat one of those. Maybe she'll think of me and the date and I can come over?" Harry suggested weakly. "I know my logic isn't good but my mind is kinda fuzzy..."

 

Zayn scoffed. "Lou doesn't eat burgers. I don't know where you're coming from with that but come over when I tell you to.”

 

-

 

Lou woke up two hours later to the smell of soup and comfort in the air. Zayn crawled up to her with a tray of food as she sat up. “Evening Lou,” he said softly, fondly. “How did you sleep?”

 

“Surprisingly okay,” she yawned, rubbing her eyes.

 

“Gemma popped over and I had to yell at her because she was being irrational. Harry knows about what doing it put you through and she's coming over later, but only if I tell her to,” Zayn placed the tray onto Lou’s lap as he spoke.

 

Lou whimpered quietly. “Is Harry angry at me? I don’t want her over if she's mad.”

 

Zayn smiled. “I don’t think she's _mad_ , per say, probably still overwhelmed and upset. It’s good that you told her early on though babe."

 

Lou nodded, closing her eyes and sighing. “I just hate that whenever I try to get close to someone they always leave because of this. It’s totally understandable but I wish it didn’t happen.”

 

“ _Shh_ , just eat. There’s tea, chicken noodle soup, ice cream, and crackers for you. I wasn’t sure what you wanted. Harry tried to tell me to give you a burger; she said you ate one on the date,” Zayn remarked, settling the tray down closer. "You don't eat those."

 

Lou blushed. "The other options didn't sound good and I was nervous and wanted to look normal and just get a burger instead of a salad and fruit or something."

 

"It's okay to eat a burger, but it's also okay to eat half a salad and an orange if that's what you want, okay love?" Zayn patted Lou's back, his thin hands rubbing her spine lightly.

 

"It was just first date nerves. I was so afraid my body language was screaming 'I killed a man once! Oops!' And that she'd hate me." She shrugged. "That was like a month ago. Whatever. Did you bring me a spoon?"

 

-

 

After Lou are everything on her plate and talked with Zayn, (him seeing through her lighthearted facade) she asked for Harry to come over. "I need to see Harry to know if she hates me or not."

 

Zayn smiled sadly. "I'll call her if you want. Just give me a minute."

 

Lou nodded as Zayn pulled out his phone.

_hey harry u cn come ovr now lous ready fr u n her to talk_

**Thank you so much Zayn.**

 

-

 

Harry knocked cautiously on the door to Lou’s flat ten minutes later. Her heart was beating so _fast_ and so _hard_ she was afraid it’d burst from her chest.

 

Zayn opened the door with a worried smile. “I’m going to take you to her room and I'm going to lead the door open and I won’t listen but I will be watching and I will interfere if I need to. Be honest but don’t be brutal.”

 

Harry swallowed at the intensity of his words. _Zayn is really protective of her. If he didn’t like Liam so much I’d think he and Lou would have a thing._

Walking the path to Lou’s room, Harry tried to keep her breathing even and normal. She was just so god damn nervous about the talk she was seconds from having.

 

With a deep breath, Zayn opened the door to the omega girl’s room. “Lou, Harrys here to talk. The door is staying open and I’ll be alert to make sure you’re okay, okay love?” he said softly.

 

The small (tired, sad, afraid, stressed, guilty) omega sitting on the bed nodded.

 

Harry made her way to the bed, sitting down on the edge awkwardly. Lou kept quiet until Zayn raised his eyebrows and walked away.

 

“How have you been holding up?” Harry asked. “I’ve been thinking about how you were this whole time. I’ve been worried but I needed some time to myself, you know?”

 

Lou cleared her throat softly. “I’ve been shit,” she stated bluntly. “It’s been hard dealing with this all over again but Zayn helped. I missed you though.”

 

Harry smiled sadly. “I missed you too. I couldn’t help but think about our date a lot because it was so wonderful and I really did feel something.  You’re beautiful and there really is a connection. I really like you Lou and I think that’s all that matters right now. We can move past this and I can help you and we can work out our feelings for each other and come back to this issue eventually.”

 

Lou’s smile rivaled the suns. ‘I would like that a lot. We don’t have to forget it because it’s become a part of me and it changed how I see things and how I react in danger but I’ve been less angry and overemotional or scared since I met you,” her voice tapered down at the end to a whisper.

 

The air grew thick and hot around the two and Harry couldn’t help but lean forward and hug Lou tight, her embrace laced with care and connection.

 

Zayn chose that moment to poke his head in, startling at the sight in front of him – Harry hugging Lou so tenderly, an ecstatic smile adorning Lou’s face. “Are we all good in here?” he asked, a joyous smile stretching across his face.

 

Harry inhaled deeply, [pulling back and giving Lou a fond look. “Yeah,” she said, Lou nodded. “We’re all good in here.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

****

**_The ‘for now’ lingered unspoken._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this one is a bit over 2k words and it went off course a bit like gemma was supposed to be nice and stan and eleanor were supposed to tell harry about life with 15 year old lou post killing but that was not what happened.


	11. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harry is mistaken, zayn is angry, liam is frustrated, lou is in love.
> 
> harry and lou are terrified

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so before u tel me i was supposed to update last week let me make excuses bc i was on a trip with no wifi and i couldve written it but it was rly fun and i didnt want to write and today crept up on me so sorry if this is total crap (it is) and if there are 34780628037 mistakes (there are) 
> 
> its a pretty boring pretty short chapter

Forgive and forget. Forgive and forget. Lou is forgiven for… what? She’s forgiven for killing a man. Forgiven for now. They’re forgetting it. For now.

 

It seemed like a good idea at first. Hey, let’s move past this fucking massive traumatic thing by forgetting and forgiving for now! They took the easy way out, but now, it wasn’t so easy.

 

Harry obviously hasn’t forgiven Lou. She flinches when Lou gets passionate or angry. She whimpers when there is a loud noise around Lou. Harry is afraid of Lou and the omega was beginning to fear herself.  

 

~

  
Zayn was _literally_ furious. He saw Lou struggling, he saw Harry flinching, and he heard Liam tell him not to do anything about it.

 

“I can’t just sit here and watch my best friend tear herself apart Liam!”

 

“We can’t meddle with them; this is a thing they have to fix themselves! You can’t interfere with true love and you can’t stop them from working this out!” Liam sounded so angry and so exasperated.

 

Zayn groaned. “They think they’ve already worked it out! It’s not like they’re wondering what to do, it’s that they’ve decided and it’s not working out! They’re hurting themselves, they’re hurting each other! Lou comes to me at night sobbing because Harry is terrified of her and not talking about it has ruined them! I fucking need to help and I can’t do it alone!” he yelled.

 

Liam glared icily. “You’ll have to do it alone because I am not meddling.”

 

Both men were absolutely seething by the time Zayn stalked off.

 

~

 

Before Zayn could approach either girl, the ladies from Little Mix marched their way into Harry’s house and sat her down.

 

Harry found herself on the corner of her bed surrounded by four omega girls barely a week after her and Lou made up. “Hello?” she stuttered out, terribly confused. “Why are you here?”

 

Perrie replied. “We’re here to talk about Lou. The deal you made; it has gotta go. You have to talk about it. You have to remind her that she is still a good person and that she's still helped so many people. She's afraid and you aren’t making it any better.”

 

“What…?” Harry asked carefully, still so freaking confused.

 

Jade rolled her chocolate eyes and spoke. “You’ve been hurting Lou. Lou is in pain. Lou is sad. We came to knock some sense into you.”

 

Harry felt herself growing angry and confused. “Hey, what are you going on about? I saw Lou yesterday and she's doing just fine! We went out for lunch and walked in the park and she smiled the whole way through!” she spat defensively.

 

 

The only girl that Harry didn’t recognize sighed. “If you paid attention to her, you’d notice that she's terrified Harry! She's not scared of you, no, she's scared of herself.”

 

“And how is any of this my fault?!”

 

The same girl sighed again. “Because you’re afraid of her. You’re afraid that she's going to lash or break again and r.i.p. you. She sees your fear and she knows it’s aimed toward her and she lets herself become terrified as well, at herself. You two need to talk about what she said before you can really move on because this is a part of Lou and you aren’t talking about it but you’re being afraid of it.”

 

Leigh-Anne piped up. “Not only is she afraid of herself, now she hates herself. Not to put you down, but it’s kind of all your fault. She trusted you with her secret and you said to forget and she thinks that it’s okay to push the damaged part of her away.”

 

Harry sucked in a sharp breath. “She hates herself?” all girls nodded solemnly. “I make her afraid of herself?” more nods. “It’s my fault?” they nodded again and Harry could only hold herself before she burst into tears.

 

~  
  
“Zayn,” Harry greeted dully when she opened the door, a very pissed off omega on the other side.

 

“Harry,” he gritted back. “We need to talk.”

 

Harry blinked and turned her back. “I’ve already been spoken to. You don’t need to rub my failures into my face.”

 

“Who talked to you? When did this happen?” Zayn followed the alphas retreating figure.

 

“Couple hours ago the girls came over and gave me a proper talking to and it’s not something I’d like to relive so if you could fucking let me take in what I have done and fix it I’d really appreciate it.”

 

Zayn stopped short. “What did you do Harry?” he asked slowly, afraid of the answer.

 

“I ruined _EVERYTHING_!” she yelled, whipping her head around. “I ruined her life! I told her to forget herself and I made her afraid and I fucking hate myself and I love her, okay? It’s barely been a month but I fucking love her already and I’ve ruined her!”

 

Zayn rushed forward again. “Harry, no!’ he cried desperately. “You didn’t ruin her! I don’t know why they would make you feel like that but you’ve been so good to her and you mean the world to her! I was going to tell you that you need to talk to her, you need to be gentle! You two have everything from the heart yes to the perfect chemistry and its fate for you two!”

 

Harry shook her head. “No. no, I know I screwed it up with me and her. Who does that to someone? Who tells the girl they love to hide themselves? Apparently I do. I'm horrible, Zayn. Let me think and let me fix this.”

 

Zayn sighed and spoke quietly. “You’re saying you’re a horrible person but ever remember that Lou killed a man? I hate to play that card but she did something horrible and you need to remember yourself in the thinking process, okay? We both love you, Harry.”

 

He turned around and walked out.

 

~

 

Lou woke up alone and the first thing she thought was _Harry_. She needed Harry, she needed to get to Harry, _Harry was sad, Harry felt lost, Lou loved Harry Lou needed Harry .Harry needed Lou Harry loved Lou and Lou needed to get to her._

 

She jumped out of bed and got dressed faster than she knew she ever could. The steps Lou took were long and quick; she needed Harry, Harry needed her.

 

She raced to her car. She needed Harry, Harry needed her.

 

She drove faster than she was allowed by the law, but did he care? Not really. She needed Harry, Harry needed her.

 

Reaching Harry’s complex, she took the steps two at a time. She needed Harry, Harry needed her.

 

The door was unlocked and Lou counted her lucky stars as she threw open the door and ran in, frantically looking for Harry. She needed Harry, Harry needed her.

 

“Harry?” she shouted. “Harry!”

 

A small grunt came from Harry’s room. “Lou?”

 

Lou wasn’t prepared for what she saw. Harry was sitting on the bed in her underwear, tearing apart a book, ripping the pages out, one by one. She needed Harry, Harry needed her.

 

“Lou,” Harry spoke softly, not looking up. “I'm sorry I ruined your life. I'm sorry I made you afraid. I'm sorry I made it worse. I was trying to make it better because you’re my world, my light; you’re my soul mate, Lou. I'm so so sorry.”

 

“Harry,” Lou wailed. “Harry, you are the best thing to happen to me. Harry, I need you!”

 

She needed Harry, Harry needed her.

 

~

 

 

_A clap of thunder, a kiss, a brief embrace, a hit, a crash, a yell, nothing was wrong but not everything was right._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry you guys i'll see you the 23rd (but maybe the 24th bc ive got a school thing the 23rd but h=who knows) ily please comment and kudos and share and stuff thanks

**Author's Note:**

> This hasn't been edited so if you find mistakes tell me please  
> (Title from Like It Or Leave It by Aly &; Aj )


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